Missed out on Olympic stardom? All is not lost…

Instead of fencing, try umbrella jousting. Never quite cut the mustard at discus throwing? Then have a crack at hurling cucumber sandwiches on china plates.
Following July’s annual Chap Olympiad in London, refined eccentrics in tweed, trilbies and brogues will compete again in the Olympic Park (August 3-4) and at the Goodwood Revival historic motorsports event (September 14-16). Also likely to be part of the tournament are Butler Baiting, Swooning, a Pipeathlon, Shouting at Foreigners and tug-o-war with a gigantic handlebar moustache.
It’s panache, rather than sporting prowess, that counts and victors are awarded the coveted gold cravat.
There’s a suspicion welly-wanging might become fashionable after it featured on The Archers the other night. You can have a go yourself up in the Lake District where Linthwaite Country House Hotel is currently staging its own Alternative Olympics.
In addition to flinging a pink, size-10 rubber boot in the direction of Lake Windermere, guests can compete in other events such as Frisbee Flops and Target Croquet. Until August 13 the hotel has a special Going for Gold half-price b&b offer – not bad for potentially making a Welly-wanging Wally of yourself.
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